Sunday, June 27, 2010

Checking My Ego at the Door

You know. I'm really kind of tired of all the drama. I'm tired of fake friends. I'm tired of the backstabbing. I'm done with it. I am 36 years old and I am tired of people who are older, acting younger than me. It's highschool all over again. I tried to kill myself during highschool because of it all.

Drama does nothing but cause pain. It's really sad how someone can take a friendship and tear it apart because the other person doesn't act the way they think they should or feels they have such a shitty life that they have to talk smack to make themselves feel better. I don't know what it is, and it doesn't matter. What matters is that I am tired of putting myself in the middle of it all. I'm tired of someone's sad life affecting mine. I have enough crap going on in my life, I don't need to worry about what someone else is saying about me.

I just need to take a breath and remember that it's all about ego. Ego is what allows me to be affected by all of this. Ego is what allows me to get worked up about someone talking smack. MY ego. I'm better than to let someone else's ego affect me.

Yes. We all hurt when we get backstabbed. It's a normal reaction to want to lash back. That's also our ego and our attachment to that ego that allows us to stay in the hurt. FEEL the hurt. That's ok AND it's normal, but don't stay in the hurt. Allow yourself to get out of the hurt. If you need to, blog where no one can see it. Putting it out there for someone else to see just makes matters worse. It just fans the fire.

Feel the hurt. Feel the anger. But don't attach yourself to it. Be human, but don't attach yourself. Don't let your ego push you into doing something you would regret. There's too much negativity in the world and it ALL stems from ego. ALL OF IT. If we could just get rid of even 50% of the ego, life would be a hell of a lot better.

I am not going to sit here and be unrealistic and say "If we ALL get rid of our egos...." It's impossible. But try to push that ego down. you are having a bad day. That doesn't mean you have to take it out on the cashier for moving slow. She may be new....or perhaps it's not her it's the computer. Remember to not misdirect your ego. You have an ego...we all do....the important thing is how we handle it. Do you let it affect everyone around you or do you say to yourself  "It's MY ego, not theirs. I shouldn't let them pay for something that has nothing to do with them."

And that's my vent and also helps that I vented and ranted on a personal blog so I got the anger out.

So that's your lesson for today. Be aware of your ego and keep it in check. You may just find it will make your day a better one. ;)

1 comment:

  1. I hear you loud and clear! One of the things I try to do is try to remember the only person whose behavior I can control is mine. And sometimes the only way to deal with some people is to walk away.

    I hope you are able to find resolution and peace with whatever situation inspired this. I remember how horrible things got in high school and I hope you never feel that low again.

    Love you long distance!